Some relationships are just not meant to be. However, many people start to regret ending things with their partner. Of course, that doesn’t mean you should immediately get back together again. There are a few ways you can overcome that feeling, and neuroscientist and certified relationship expert Nan Wise is here to share them with you.
How to Recognize Regret
If you’re constantly thinking about the past relationship, that can be the biggest sign of regret, especially if you’re in a new relationship. Even if your current partner is giving you all you need, you may still feel concerned and worried. Sometimes, the attachment to your ex simply doesn’t go away.
The good thing is that this is all normal, even if you’re the one who ended the relationship. Remember that you can always heal, and it should come from the inside.
Ask Questions and Break Things Down
It’s important to ask yourself some questions to better understand how you’re feeling. Was breaking up something you decided suddenly, or were you considering it for a while? Is life better or worse now? Was your partner treating you right? You can also ask those around you if they’ve noticed any change in you.
This is also why it’s important to break down what happened. If you’re impulsive and always rush into things without contemplating them, you’re more likely to feel regret. Take the time to observe and understand yourself. It will benefit your future relationships, too.
Analyze Warning Signs and Don’t Beat Yourself Up
You can always reflect on your past relationship and examine the signs that made you or your partner end it. Did you not trust each other? Did you not communicate enough? Take full responsibility for your mistakes and how you can do things better next time.
Along similar lines, while it’s normal to feel regret, don’t blame yourself or constantly beat yourself up. Instead, embrace that feeling and realize it’s normal and doesn’t mean you’ve made the wrong decision.
Analyze Your Feelings and Self Growth
Think about whether you regret the breakup itself or you’re concerned about your decision-making. Do you make decisions based on your insecurities or fears? Then, it’s time to self-analyze and explore the particular way you view your own needs.
Remember, you can always learn and develop new skills. Take the end of your relationship as an opportunity to grow more mature and learn how to better communicate with others. Your future partners will thank you for it.
Talk Things Out
Once you understand what led to the breakup, why not talk to your ex-partner and tell them how you feel? It may help you heal and move on with your life. You can also write down your thoughts and send the letter or keep it to yourself. Either way, you’ll be able to let it all out and be at peace.
Whatever the reason you broke up with your partner, regrets are normal and it’s important to find ways to get closure. All of the tips here are healthy ways to find the good in your ex-partner while remembering the reasons you broke up with them in the first place.